SOMA 2016

by Ahn Wee

I was in my hotel at Tagbilaran when the music started to play. I looked over the television and realized it was Justin Bieber singing. So I went back to staring at the ceiling and letting him sing. Right at that moment I could not care about the music that played anymore. I was just tired. I was just fed up, and I was fed up about being fed up. However something about his song was quietly soothing in my situation. I could actually relate.

I graduated from college with all these grand visions of how my life would go. 2 months after finishing school I soon realized I ran out of time from my self mandated ultimatum of getting a job. From the whole plan of working in Rehabilitation Center to working my way up the Corporate ladder, I found myself in the cold petridish office of a call center. Which was not entirely bad after all my English could pass as an American any day. 5 months after I realized I could not keep on doing this kind of job. Despite the skills that I was endowed with by my education, I could not perform as good I might be because I simply didn’t like it. I felt that deep in my heart I had a greater purpose. I tried to find that. I applied again and again anywhere but there was no call. I took the civil service exam, and I failed it. I quit my job and with what money I had left I enrolled myself in a review for a board exam. I flew to another city just to take the darn exam. To my surprised, I actually passed. Within the month of passing that board exam I was hired.6 months after, I figured I could not  keep doing the new job I was  given. I sucked at it and so I tried out again to apply to another job. I failed yet again so I enrolled myself in Graduate school to keep my spirits up. My job’s nature started to change I became a jet setter of some sort. My classes couldn’t keep up and so I decided to stop. A year after, the whole climate of work  changed. It became more comfortable. I felt empowered.

However deep down, something else was still missing. I still haven’t made my mark. I have not started on a path where I felt what I do is meaningful.

My life was still in shambles, but that doesn’t mean I will settle with what feeling I have right now.