Never be like you

A year ago, a guy asked me if he could court me and so I told him upfront:

“You can do what you like but I’m telling you right now you cannot expect anything from me. I am not ready for a relationship.”

He asked me so many times, and I said the same answer repeatedly that it almost became an automatic script. To be fair, I was not the only girl he was pursuing. I knew he had other options but the biggest burn of it all would be that he was still not over his ex. He had a lot of issues. In fact, it was our big common denominator: our exes and our shitty relationship we had with them. So I was quite puzzled why he would ask me such a question.

A few days ago, on a taxi ride to the office listening to Flume’s Never be like you on repeat, I suddenly had an epiphany on the cure to being emotionally unavailable. It just hit me right there and then, and it was so simple and beautiful.

Emotionally unavailable? Be emotionally available. Put yourself out there, because even if you hid under a rock you would still get hurt. Pain is inevitable, and we must accept that reality.

Not ready for a relationship? Prepare yourself, open up your heart and learn to trust a little. If we always put our fear of getting hurt again we will actually hurt ourselves before we know it.

We will fail along the way, and we will get hurt no matter how hard we try to protect ourselves. So we might as well live a little bolder and trust generously.

It sounds too simple and easy to say, sure but well not everything happens in a blink of an eye. Everything is a process.